I started writing a post called “Why eX-Quitter?” explaining what I want for this blog, but that’s going to have to wait. Yesterday, I ran into the single thing that I fear most for eX-Quitter, and this post is an active step taken to conquer that fear.
Think about it. What is the one thing that a new ex-quitter would fear more than anything else? Rabies. No, wait, that’s not it. The logical fear for an ex-quitter is that he’ll start quitting again. That’s my fear. I’ve started to pour myself into this blog (I know I’m only a few posts in, but I’ve got more in the queue. Just trying to pace myself.) and it’s completely centered around my journey to quit quitting. But I know myself. My natural tendency has become to chase something excitedly for a period of time, then start chasing something else. Or just stop chasing anything for a time. In other words: I quit.
It’s been almost a week since I came up with the idea for eX-Quitter. I knew that the wall was coming. I knew that eventually I’d have to really fight against the urge to move on to something else, to quit. But honestly, I’d given myself more time than this. After all, the last time I tried to really work on a blog, I threw down over 20 posts in the first 30 days, and the first week and a half had daily posts. When it comes to fitness, I know my first wall comes about 2-3 weeks in, and my second wall hits at 8 weeks (unfortunately, I’ve never made it longer than that to know when I hit my third wall. :/) I could go on, but you get the picture.
So a magical 5 days into this, I hit my first wall. I opened up my computer, pulled up WordPress, and straight up didn’t want to write anything. I already mentioned my queue of post ideas. I knew what I could write. I just had absolutely no drive. I’ve had some other stuff on my mind the last couple days as well (I’ll get into that a little in a coming post), and I felt my drive for eX-Quitter get diverted. So I knew I had to write something. It didn’t have to be long, but it had to confront this desire to quit. I had to face my fear.
I guess that means it’s time to celebrate, right? I mean, I fought against the very thing that this blog was created to help you and me combat. And the fact that this post is here is proof that I’ve won, at least this round. So here’s to pressing on, to fighting the comfortable, and chasing dreams.